DBLIO
Liner notes
This was for MathsJam Jam 2025, and I think is the only time I've ever had a round of applause mid-song. So far, at least. The line had been brewing for a while, sometimes about Bangor. I used the Loudon Wainwright trick of initialising the punchline to avoid spoiling it -- as in SUNWSF, YSNSUOAS and KMAG. The setup is that the Town Council of Ongar in Essex decided to use proportional representation for its elections, specifically the D'Hondt method. Unfortunately, some of the candidates objected and held up the count until someone could get them some literature on the approach. This is the story of that terrible day.This election system's designed
So that seats are assigned
In a fairer way
But candidates have made a demand
'Cause they don't understand
The principles at play
Although the distribution's been agreed
They want some information they can read
To find it should be simple, you'd assume
But Waterstones is out of stock
The library closed at 4 o'clock
And Amazon won't do same-day this far out
The poll tally must wait
'Til the stores indicate
There's a reference to buy
To my dismay
A D'Hondt book lack in Ongar
Has caused delay
Please don't talk of First Past The Post
It's the choice I hate most
'Cause it's so passé
There's no perfect system of polls
Arrow's the-o-rem holds
But PR's OK
Although the distribution's been agreed
They want some information they can read
To find it should be simple, you'd assume
But Waterstones is out of stock
The library closed at 4 o'clock
And Amazon won't do same-day this far out
The poll tally must wait
'Til the stores indicate
There's a reference to buy
To my dismay
A D'Hondt book lack in Ongar
Has caused delay
The poll tally must wait
'Til the stores indicate
There's a reference to buy
To my dismay
A D'Hondt book lack in Ongar
A D'Hondt book lack in Ongar
Has caused delay
I'm sad to say