KMAG
Liner notes
My memory was that there was a Mathober prompt, 'kiss' -- but I can find no evidence of it! It made me think of osculating circles and curves that 'kiss' each other. Asymptotes usually don't quite kiss the curves they're approaching, but once the connection was made, there was no going back. I think I wrote the lion's share of the lyrics, although Sam Hartburn certainly polished some of them up. The tune and arrangement are pretty much all her, although the change of pace is stolen directly from 'Weird Al' Yankovic's I Was Only Kidding. We finished our main set at Warwick with this, and the gasp/clap at the punchline was one of my personal highlights of the show.Sometimes you meet somebody it seems you've always known
You get closer as your time together grows
And sometimes -- if you're lucky -- they become your cornerstone
And baby, I've got to tell you: you're not one of those
We plotted charts of our affection, everything looked hunky-dory
We were set to rise and keep on rising
Then we subtly changed direction, I rose up in search of glory
You went sloping off to the horizon
It's clearly time we both say 'backsies', head off for our different axes
You'll be 'ex' and never work out 'why'
Sorry, babe, you don't come close, so I'm saying adios,
You can kiss my as-
You can kiss my asymptote goodbye.
You did not reciprocate my offer of eternity
When my love for you was off the charts
And I did not anticipate the scale of your antipathy
Or the rate at which our feelings grew apart
These days when I see you, I pretend there's something urgent
There's somewhere else I really have to be
And making like Houdini, I insist on paths divergent
And swiftly head off for infinity
Yah boo sucks to those outsiders who said nothing could divide us
Maybe not, but I'd still like to try
Toodle-pip and cheerio, sayonara, off you go
You can kiss my as-
You can kiss my asymptote goodbye
Though you tried to keep me down, I don't have an upper bound
You went low and so I'm going high
Auf Wiedersehen, farewell
Arrivederci, go to hell
You can kiss my as-
My astronomic, monotonic, supersonic hyperbolic as-
You can kiss my asymptote goodbye.