No Underwear

wilderness years
Liner notesAnother one inspired by true events. It's a while since I've had occasion to wear it, but I still have the kilt (assuming the moths haven't been at it.) The final verse is a Spike Milligan gag that fits nicely.

My friends were getting married, it was up I had to smarten
So I went to rent myself a kilt in the Black Watch tartan
When I got into the shop, they were selling off their stock
And if I turned down a bargain, how could I call myself a Scot?

Even with no underwear, everything exposed to air
No underwear, there's a nice cool breeze down there

I don't care if you're nobody, I don't care if you're famous
You can't stay off the dance-floor if they're playing the Proclaimers
When you're in a kilt, you must be careful how you dance
And don't go jumping wildly if you've got no underpants

No underwear, everything exposed to air
No underwear, there's a nice cool breeze down there

And to answer that one question often asked south of the border:
There's nothing worn beneath the kilt, it's all in working order.

No underwear, everything exposed to air
No underwear, there's a nice cool breeze down there