The Boot
Liner notes
I don't really identify as a topical singer-songwriter these days, but at some point I have to acknowledge that the occasional story is just too good not to write about. This was the case of an employment tribunal ruling that it is not automatically gross misconduct to call one's boss a dickhead, which I think was welcome news to many. I was messing about with rhyme schemes, and ABCCBADD is not one I have used before... or plan to again.The employment tribunal has laid down the law
In Herbert v Swannell and Main
Ms Herbert, they say, was unfairly dismissed
I bet Mr Swannell is pissed.
She called him a dickhead, that much is plain
He instantly showed her the door
That 15k damages, 14k costs
For being uncouth to her boss.
Your boss is a tosser, a twazzock, a turd
A cantankerous, cretinous coot
Call him a dickhead and flip him the bird
And dare him to give you the boot
Sometimes I look at the management class
And ask how they wound up that way
Incompetent confidence, corporate creed
The gormlessness, golfing and greed
The reckless insistence on having their say
And failing to cover their arse
And if it should lead to unpleasant affairs,
It's everyone's failure but theirs
Your boss is a tosser, a twazzock, a turd
A brain-dead, belligerent brute
Call him a dickhead and flip him the bird
And dare him to give you the boot
My boss is a dickhead, a doofus, a dimwit
Pathetic, played out, paranoid
A dolt and a dweeb, a dirtbag, a dipshit
I wish I were not self-employed
Your boss is a tosser, a twazzock, a turd
A sentient slug in a suit
Call him a dickhead and flip him the bird
And dare him to give you the boot