Topology

parodies

(with Ben Sparks)

To the tune of Roll To Me by Del Amitri.

Liner notesThis might be my favourite MathsJam Jam moment. I wrote most of this during lockdown and tweeted it out -- Ben (also a Del Amitri fan) suggested to his twin brother Tim that they could record it for the virtual meeting.

Look around your twirled piece of paper*A Möbius strip!
Is it everything that you hoped you would see?
As the end of one side bleeds to the other, it's a
Sublime topology
Topology

Königsberg*The Bridges of Königsberg is a classical problem in topology. has been driving me crazy
If I crossed each bridge once, I'd be pleased
But Euler proved that you can't do it (damn it),
That's prime topology

And I don't think I have ever seen a hole just disappear
'Cause shapes are porous (like a torus)
Or airtight (like a sphere)

Your pants are only half-on there, matey*Topologists are weirdly obsessed with turning pants inside-out. But your foot's stuck down and you can't get it free
Turn them inside-out, with a wee bit of straining
You'll be dressed fine, topology
Topology, topology

And I don't think I have ever seen a hole just disappear
'Cause shapes are porous (like a torus)
Or airtight (like a sphere)

Get your paper twirled, and then maybe
Draw some lines to divide it in three
Cut the strip along the perforation
Sublime topology
Topology, topology

Oo!